Valentine’s Day for the mid life male

Posted: February 15, 2014 in General, Musings

That this is a day late probably sums up everything about my attitude towards Valentine’s Day. It’s not that I am against a day which celebrates love and being close to someone, it’s just that I can’t be bothered with the tacky marketing and the doing something on the day because s/he will be massively offended if I don’t.

February 14th this year saw me at work all day, followed by an appointment with the trainer at the gym. Roses, cards with high content of pink and cute did not feature throughout the day. Was Mrs. Mid Life Female bothered about this? Not a jot. A few years ago we managed to find decent cards for each other but not these days. We decided to stop buying cards for each other when we agreed we couldn’t find any we liked, the gesture becomes a bit empty when its preceded with an apology about ‘how it was th best card I could find’. For the past few years all I can find is nauseating slush e.g.


You have got to be fucking joking!

It ticks a number of Valentine’s Day boxes – Roses: check;  Talks about love: check; Flowery semi-poetic gibberish: check. If I spoke to the fair one like this she would administer a well deserved slap. This example is typical of what’s on offer at this time of year. It’s designed so the person giving this can avoid having to come up with anything original themself. Frankly its awful. Any other day of the year uttering this kind of gibberish will get you dumped on the spot. But on one day of the year it is apparently OK to spout this kind of rubbish and the poor recipient feels they have to tolerate it on the grounds that it is Valentine’s Day. There is a great scene in National Lampoons Animal House when John Belushi is walking down stairs of a frat house toga party only to find some guy with an acoustic guitar singing about love, off-key, out of tune and with appalling lyrics. Belushi takes the guitar from him and smashes it to pieces, before handing it back. This is how this kind of card makes me feel. Not loving and romantic but violent and mildly psychotic about finding the person who designed it and pulling out their fingernails with pliers.

Of course if you are a celebrity the gesture and the expense involved are the most important things. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like being rich and spending a vast sum on a gesture and ensuring your agents leak it to the press and turn it into a PR stunt. Love is getting one of your minions to arrange the Valentine’s Day gift but press recognition is what really counts.

In the past I have been out for Valentine’s Day dinner, restaurants bursting at the seams with couples looking into each others eyes over a plastic rose and some cheap pink bubbly being passed off as Proseco, trying desperately to think of something to say. Never again. Its one of the few days of the year I’d really advise NOT going out for a meal.

For the mid-life male its a little less mass market. It’s about what celebrating what we enjoy. So after work today we settled down with a take away curry (extra chillies please), a nice bottle of wine and will follow it up with a reasonable movie, which will most likely have little romance but an impressive body count. I will tell her how much I love her and it will have nothing to do with the day of the year – because I do it every day. No pink frilly tacky shit in site. We’ve been together for over 20 years and in that time we have gone past the stage of doing things because somehow it’s expected and instead we do what makes us happy.  She doesn’t need 1000 roses to know I love her, she needs to hear me say it and know I mean it, 365 days per year – not just 1.

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