Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

I came across this picture on the Fitocracy website and it amused me. Base your lifting on what size of bear you can lift (well why not?)…

tumblr_mui8wgHDF31qf1avqo1_500Bring forth the 250 lb panda and I’ll show you who’s boss. In fact I reckon I could probably dead lift a Sloth bear on a good day (managed 140 kg this week, so that sounds about right).

But, damn, it’s a longggg way to Grizzly from where I am. That’s almost three times my bodyweight – not sure we will ever get that one. However, everyone loves pandas so its good to know I can lift one when the opportunity arises – and of course that it stays still long enough.

Motivational humour

Posted: January 10, 2014 in Humour, Motivation

There are so many images across the interweb which supposedly have the aim of motivating us to do better. They have such horrendously cheesy wording like “You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” imposed over a basketball hoop. I really hate that stuff. There is nothing about wording which is cheesier than a 10-year-old Gorgonzola to inspire me to do anything. Instead its more likely to stop me in my tracks and have me turning around and hurling a volley of abuse at whoever spouted such patronising rubbish.

Sometime however there is the odd image which does amuse me.

You're not fat

I’m more likely to be inspired by something which makes me smile and the above certainly did amuse. I’d love to plaster it about the gym at this time of year when its full of people who have made new year’s resolutions. Maybe if they looked at it enough they would last beyond the end of February!

I’ve recently been enjoying reading posts at Lifehacker. They are generally well written and informative, general tips about how to improve all sorts of life skills. Not the sort of place I’d find much to get upset about. Until I came across this post entitled ‘Create Positive Snowballs to stick to new habits’. So far you are probably looking at the title and wondering about the cause of the issue. Go ahead, read the post.  It’s basically saying start off with small easy to accomplish goals and build up to bigger ones once you get into the habit of accomplishing your goals. I know, you’re still struggling to see the problem. Let me help you, let’s look at the picture:

ku-xlargeNow go look at the comments…

Comment 1 – “I would enjoy the site much more without profanity”

Comment 2 – “I can’t share posts like this with coworkers, and that makes me sad. It also means fewer people will be able to view your ads, if that makes any difference.”

Seriously? WTF? Surely anyone looking at the picture can tell that it has a certain amount of irony, especially when the subject is about setting small goals? I suspect not, they just see the F-word and everything after dissolves in a puddle of self-righteous indignation.

Profanity does not ruin or make any point less important. Tedium however is a very different story.  To comment giver 1, I would enjoy the site far more if you kept your tedious opinions to yourself. If you don’t like what’s written then fuck off to somewhere less offensive to your delicate soul. To comment giver 2, go get some less delicate colleagues, where do you work? The local church? I’m sure the loss of your revenue to whatever advertisers will not push the site into bankruptcy, but if they put up a request for funds as opposed to profanity filtering then I’ll certainly make a donation.

When all is said and done I don’t swear that much, but I sure object to anyone telling me or others ‘Thou shall not’. There is nothing like someone trying to impose their moral compass on me to make me want to tell them where they can stick it.

Oh and to anyone concerned about the level of profanity on this blog, I give you this:

you-cannot-fathom-the-immensity-of-the-fuck-i-do-not-give

It amused me…

Posted: January 4, 2014 in Humour

My sense of humour tends to be on the dry and cynical side. For example I think Bill Hicks was nothing short of wonderful and that typical sit-com writers should be burned at stakes.

Occasionally though something just takes my fancy and makes me laugh. This is one such item.

Atheism T shirtIt pushes my buttons on a number of ways. Anti-religion – check; mildly offensive to the narrow-minded – check; available in a variety of colours and sizes – check; and best of all a shocking pun on ‘prophet’ in place of ‘profit’.

It’s available for sale here. Nothing to do with me, I haven’t got any share in the proceeds, but I will happily plug anything that appeals to my sense of humour. And shamelessly ignore anything no matter how worthy the cause if I think its dull.